The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
