its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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