I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i think my cat just said my name.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
