I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
