haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
