I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
