I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
