I hate your face
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
