the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
