Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
