P.S. I can't hear my feet
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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