a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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