i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
