Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
