Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
