I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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