i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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