Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
