I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize