I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So many bounce houses so little time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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