oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
