No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
