sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
