I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
