Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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