screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
