do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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