we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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