If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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