You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
