their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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