She is in my trunk
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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