that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
