brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
