dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
