new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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