Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
