i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
