The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
