I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
