god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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