i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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