adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
