just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
