I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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