I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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