can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
