Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
