I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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