I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
