She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
