It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize