Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
