I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm sobbing to NWA
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
