Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
