So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
