Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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