i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
