You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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