I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
