can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
