loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
