oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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